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Wisdom in Humour
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Wisdom in Humour
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SRI SWAMI SIVANANDA

Born on the 8th September, 1887, in the illustrious family of sage Appayya Dikshitar and several other renowned saints and savants, Sri Swami Sivananda had a natural flair for a life devoted to the study and practice of Vedanta. Added to this was an inborn eagerness to serve all and an innate feeling of unity with all mankind.

His passion for service drew him to the medical career; and soon he gravitated to where he thought that his service was most needed. Malaya claimed him. He had earlier been editing a health journal and wrote extensively on health problems. He discovered that people needed right knowledge most of all; dissemination of that knowledge as his own mission.

It was divine dispensation and the blessing of God upon mankind that the doctor of body and mind renounced his career and took to a life of renunciation to qualify for ministering to the soul of man. He settled down at Rshikesh in 1924, practiced intense austerities and shone as a great Yogi, saint, sage and Jivanmukta.

In 1932 Swami Sivananda started the Sivanandasharm. In 1936 was born The Divine Life Society. In 1948 the Yoga-Vedanta forest Academy was organized. Dissemination of spiritual knowledge and training of people in Yoga and Vedanta were their aim and object. In 1950 Swamiji undertook a lightning tour of India and Ceylon. In 1953 Swamiji convened a 'World Parliament of Regions'. Swamiji is the author of over 300 volumes and has disciples all over the world, belonging to all nationalities, religion and creeds. To read Swamiji works is to drink at the Fountain of Wisdom Supreme. On 14th july, 1963 Swamiji entered Mahasamadhi.

 

Back of book

This Volume owes its birth to Sri Dr. Frederick Spiegelberg, Professor of Stanford University, California, U.S.A., who was charmed when, at a Satsang held during his stay at Ananda Kutir in 1949, Sri Swami Sivanandaji Maharaj read out to him a few humorous compositions of his "Swamiji" said Dr. Frederick, "this is just the thing wanted by the people today. They would love the humour, but would unconsciously learn a spiritual lesson. The impression made by such teaching would be profound and lasting." This publication itself is a token of our gratitude to Dr. Frederick Spiegelberg.

 

CONTENTS

 

1.Whims of Sadhus

 
CHAPTER I
 
 
VARIETIES IN WHIMS
 
    15
2. Whims of Sadhkas 16
3. Varieties of Whims 18
 
CHAPTER II
 
 
OBJECTS SWEETER THAN BRAHMAN
 
1. Uppuma, Coffee, Is Sweeter than Brahman 20
2. Horrible Glutton 21
3. English Laddu 21
4. Ode to Laddu 22
 
CHAPTER III
 
 
THE FRAILTY OF HUMAN LOVE
 
1. My Sweet Honey Darling 23
2. Woman's Crocodile's Tears 23
 
CHAPTER IV
 
 
HYPOCRITES
 
1. Do You Know this "I.C.S." & "P.C.S.?" 25
2. A Great F.F.S. and F.T.D. 25
3. Imitation Videhamukta 26
4. Here Is a Hypocrite 27
5. A Pseudo-Avadhooth 27
6. Pseudo-Patriots 28
7. Hypocritical Humility 29
8. A Deluded Soul 29
9. A Polished Cheat 30
 
CHAPTER V
 
 
THE MYSTERIOUS WORLD
 
1. This world-A mysterious show 31
2. Diverse Nature 31
3. Sounds and Bhava 32
4. Nature of Mundene Life 32
5. Discontentment Everywhere 33
 
CHAPTER VI
 
 
MORAL INSTRUCTIONS
 
1. Return Good for Evil 34
2. Tirupathi Shaving 34
3. Vritti-diseases 35
4. Fashionable Wife 35
5. Long Beard within a single Night 36
6. Do not Be Credulous 37
7. Fever Meets Itching 38
8. Tamper not with other's Letters 38
9. Hotel for Cats 39
10. Ladder, Teacher and Lemon-Pickle 39
 
CHAPTER VII
 
 
SPIRITUAL SERMONS
 
1. Khoon Kharab Hogaya 41
2. Your Wife Became a Widow 41
3. Preach to Yourself First 42
4. The Greatest Miser 42
5. Glory of Hotels! Rs. 30/-a Day 43
6. Poor Advocates 44
7. Dowry System 45
8. Story of a Millionaire 45
9. Story of Two Misers 46
10. Jagulee Chas, Bapulee Chas 46
11. Crush this Ego 47
12. World's Tallest Men 48
13. That Tomorrow will never Come 48
14. Prosperious America 49
15. Ph.D 49
16. March of India 50
17. Topics of the World 51
18. Three Kinds of Disciples 51
19. Story of a Pig 52
20. Boot-Legging 52
21. An Old Lady and a Needle 53
22. You Cannot Cheat the Indweller 53
23. Sunday Now Friday 54
 
CHAPTER VIII
 
 
A GUIDE TO DIVINE LIFE
 
1. Ek Niranjan; Do Gad Bhad; Teen Lat Pat 56
2. See the Lord in all Forms 56
3. The Frog and Faithless Disciples 57
4. Be Sincere and Aspire 57
5. Aspire for Liberation 58
6. Become a Doctor of Souls 59
7. Plants and Flowers 59
8. Milk, Dood, Pal and Ksheeram 60
9. Stages of Man 60
10. Do not Cheat 61
11. Eradicate Laziness 61
12. Seven Afflictions of a Pundit 62
13. Who Is a Sannyasi 62
14. Who Is A-1 "Loof" in Sirshasan? 63
15. Beard Is almost Equal to Gerua Cloth 63
16. Om Namo Narayanaya! 64
17. Story of a King's Cat 64
18. Sivaratri in E.I.R. 65
19. Story of a Cobra and a Farmer 66
20. The Modern Agnihotri 66
21. Snake-Rat Story 67
22. God Is Now Here 67
23. Look at Kallu's Devotion 68
24. Do Real Self-surrender 68
25. Dhanna Bhakta 69
26. Passion-Bye-Products 69
27. A Sadhu and a Seth 70
28. Chemo-Cherapy 71
29. Anti-Pneumo Thorax 71
30. Best Life Insurance Co 72
31. Abandon Ownership 72
32. Pundit Ram with His Third Wife 73
33. Socrates and a Horse 73
34. Dhaka Chak 74
 
CHAPTER IX
 
 
FALSE IMAGINATION
 
1. Vikalpa Vritti 75
2. Jiva Srishti Alone Gives Pain 75
3. Restless Horse-Mind 76
4. Effects of Dream 76
5. Mind Is like the Fountain Pen 77
 
CHAPTER X
 
 
VEDANTA IN HUMOUR
 
1. Dog in Stone 78
2. Sugar Cane Story 78
3. Atma Is Already There 79
4. Moorkhanandas 79
5. Sleepwalkers 80
6. The Tenth Was Missing 80
7. properties of the Five Elements 81
8. Vedantic Bomb 81
9. Vedantic Gazette, Good News! 82
10. Vedantic Passport 83
11. Vedantic Suzerainty 83
12. Atma Bahadurs 84
13. U.N.O. 85
14. Solve this Riddle, Please 85
15. Shortage of Barbers 86
 
CHAPTER XI
 
 
VEDANTIC MEDICINES
 
1. Vedantic Beverage 87
2. Vedantic Compressed Table 87
3. Vedantic Vitamin 88
4. Vedantic TONIC 89
 
CHAPTER XII
 
 
LESSONS FROM SCIENTIFIC INVENTIONS
 
1. Television 90
2. Dicta-Hell-Tele 90
3. The Biggest Radio 91
4. Remove the Dirt in the Mind-Radio 91
 
CHAPTER XIII
 
 
HUMOROUS PIECES
 
1. Ear-complains to the Lord 93
2. To Lord Krishna 93
3. How to Become a Famous Sadhu 94
4. Tamarind Brain 94
5. Mixed Action 95
6. Ant. Like the Atom Bomb 95
7. Elections and Voting 96
8. Twins and Triplets 96
9. Glory to Newspaper Boys 97
10. 'Procreate Less' Campaign 97
11. Husband and Wife 98
12. Three-Inches Intellect 98
 
CHAPTER XIV
 
 
SIVA'S NATIVE PLACE
 
1. Goodbye, Vain World 100
2. Song of Vibhti Yoga 100
3. My Native Place 101
4. The Cow Tree 101
5. Intoximeter and mayameter 102
6. Song of Honey 103
7. Digambara Song 103
8. Ram Kirtan 103
9. That Divine Whisky 104
10. Nature Curist is Intolerant 104
11. Nature Curist Vrittis 105
12 Allopathic Monsters 105
13. Naturopath's Poor Prarabdha 106
14. The Family of Egoism 106
15. The Best 106
16. Lecture By Milk 107
17. Son of Asanas 108
18. Incompatibles 111
 
SECTION II
 
 
PHILOSOPHY IN HUMOUR
 
1. To Lord Krishna 112
2. Maya 112
3. Daya Krishna and Danveer Ram 113
4. "Tor" Ka "Dur" 116
5. Story of Ade-Vada 116
6. Spiritual Smoking 119
7. Story of Dosai Sangam122  
8. Philosophy of Bread 124
9. Pseudo-Vedantin 126
10. Impotent Vedantin 127
11. Lip Vedantin 129
12. Real Vedantin 130
13. Divine Injection S.B. 40 131
14. Spiritual Lumbago 131
15. The Knowledge of the Lad 133
16. Best Cement 134
17. Fountain Pen 134
18. Knowledge of a Child 135
19. Boy Becomes a Girl 136
20. Moustache Lady 137
21. Test-tube Baby 138
22 Spiritual Shaving 138
23 Chandrabhaga and Monkey 142
24. A Complaint to Brahma 145
25. The Story of a Laddu 145
26. The Secret of "Bada" 146
27. This Is Maya 146
28. Philosophy of Shirt and Hat 148
29. Equal Vision 149
30. Gadapparai or Durmat Nyaya 150
31. Brahma-Jnana Research Pharmacy 150
32. Tat Tvam Asi 151
33. Recipe (Take Thou) 151
34. Philosophy of Proverbs 152
35. The Maha Kumbha Mela 159
36. Wake Up O! Man 168

 

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Wisdom in Humour

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SRI SWAMI SIVANANDA

Born on the 8th September, 1887, in the illustrious family of sage Appayya Dikshitar and several other renowned saints and savants, Sri Swami Sivananda had a natural flair for a life devoted to the study and practice of Vedanta. Added to this was an inborn eagerness to serve all and an innate feeling of unity with all mankind.

His passion for service drew him to the medical career; and soon he gravitated to where he thought that his service was most needed. Malaya claimed him. He had earlier been editing a health journal and wrote extensively on health problems. He discovered that people needed right knowledge most of all; dissemination of that knowledge as his own mission.

It was divine dispensation and the blessing of God upon mankind that the doctor of body and mind renounced his career and took to a life of renunciation to qualify for ministering to the soul of man. He settled down at Rshikesh in 1924, practiced intense austerities and shone as a great Yogi, saint, sage and Jivanmukta.

In 1932 Swami Sivananda started the Sivanandasharm. In 1936 was born The Divine Life Society. In 1948 the Yoga-Vedanta forest Academy was organized. Dissemination of spiritual knowledge and training of people in Yoga and Vedanta were their aim and object. In 1950 Swamiji undertook a lightning tour of India and Ceylon. In 1953 Swamiji convened a 'World Parliament of Regions'. Swamiji is the author of over 300 volumes and has disciples all over the world, belonging to all nationalities, religion and creeds. To read Swamiji works is to drink at the Fountain of Wisdom Supreme. On 14th july, 1963 Swamiji entered Mahasamadhi.

 

Back of book

This Volume owes its birth to Sri Dr. Frederick Spiegelberg, Professor of Stanford University, California, U.S.A., who was charmed when, at a Satsang held during his stay at Ananda Kutir in 1949, Sri Swami Sivanandaji Maharaj read out to him a few humorous compositions of his "Swamiji" said Dr. Frederick, "this is just the thing wanted by the people today. They would love the humour, but would unconsciously learn a spiritual lesson. The impression made by such teaching would be profound and lasting." This publication itself is a token of our gratitude to Dr. Frederick Spiegelberg.

 

CONTENTS

 

1.Whims of Sadhus

 
CHAPTER I
 
 
VARIETIES IN WHIMS
 
    15
2. Whims of Sadhkas 16
3. Varieties of Whims 18
 
CHAPTER II
 
 
OBJECTS SWEETER THAN BRAHMAN
 
1. Uppuma, Coffee, Is Sweeter than Brahman 20
2. Horrible Glutton 21
3. English Laddu 21
4. Ode to Laddu 22
 
CHAPTER III
 
 
THE FRAILTY OF HUMAN LOVE
 
1. My Sweet Honey Darling 23
2. Woman's Crocodile's Tears 23
 
CHAPTER IV
 
 
HYPOCRITES
 
1. Do You Know this "I.C.S." & "P.C.S.?" 25
2. A Great F.F.S. and F.T.D. 25
3. Imitation Videhamukta 26
4. Here Is a Hypocrite 27
5. A Pseudo-Avadhooth 27
6. Pseudo-Patriots 28
7. Hypocritical Humility 29
8. A Deluded Soul 29
9. A Polished Cheat 30
 
CHAPTER V
 
 
THE MYSTERIOUS WORLD
 
1. This world-A mysterious show 31
2. Diverse Nature 31
3. Sounds and Bhava 32
4. Nature of Mundene Life 32
5. Discontentment Everywhere 33
 
CHAPTER VI
 
 
MORAL INSTRUCTIONS
 
1. Return Good for Evil 34
2. Tirupathi Shaving 34
3. Vritti-diseases 35
4. Fashionable Wife 35
5. Long Beard within a single Night 36
6. Do not Be Credulous 37
7. Fever Meets Itching 38
8. Tamper not with other's Letters 38
9. Hotel for Cats 39
10. Ladder, Teacher and Lemon-Pickle 39
 
CHAPTER VII
 
 
SPIRITUAL SERMONS
 
1. Khoon Kharab Hogaya 41
2. Your Wife Became a Widow 41
3. Preach to Yourself First 42
4. The Greatest Miser 42
5. Glory of Hotels! Rs. 30/-a Day 43
6. Poor Advocates 44
7. Dowry System 45
8. Story of a Millionaire 45
9. Story of Two Misers 46
10. Jagulee Chas, Bapulee Chas 46
11. Crush this Ego 47
12. World's Tallest Men 48
13. That Tomorrow will never Come 48
14. Prosperious America 49
15. Ph.D 49
16. March of India 50
17. Topics of the World 51
18. Three Kinds of Disciples 51
19. Story of a Pig 52
20. Boot-Legging 52
21. An Old Lady and a Needle 53
22. You Cannot Cheat the Indweller 53
23. Sunday Now Friday 54
 
CHAPTER VIII
 
 
A GUIDE TO DIVINE LIFE
 
1. Ek Niranjan; Do Gad Bhad; Teen Lat Pat 56
2. See the Lord in all Forms 56
3. The Frog and Faithless Disciples 57
4. Be Sincere and Aspire 57
5. Aspire for Liberation 58
6. Become a Doctor of Souls 59
7. Plants and Flowers 59
8. Milk, Dood, Pal and Ksheeram 60
9. Stages of Man 60
10. Do not Cheat 61
11. Eradicate Laziness 61
12. Seven Afflictions of a Pundit 62
13. Who Is a Sannyasi 62
14. Who Is A-1 "Loof" in Sirshasan? 63
15. Beard Is almost Equal to Gerua Cloth 63
16. Om Namo Narayanaya! 64
17. Story of a King's Cat 64
18. Sivaratri in E.I.R. 65
19. Story of a Cobra and a Farmer 66
20. The Modern Agnihotri 66
21. Snake-Rat Story 67
22. God Is Now Here 67
23. Look at Kallu's Devotion 68
24. Do Real Self-surrender 68
25. Dhanna Bhakta 69
26. Passion-Bye-Products 69
27. A Sadhu and a Seth 70
28. Chemo-Cherapy 71
29. Anti-Pneumo Thorax 71
30. Best Life Insurance Co 72
31. Abandon Ownership 72
32. Pundit Ram with His Third Wife 73
33. Socrates and a Horse 73
34. Dhaka Chak 74
 
CHAPTER IX
 
 
FALSE IMAGINATION
 
1. Vikalpa Vritti 75
2. Jiva Srishti Alone Gives Pain 75
3. Restless Horse-Mind 76
4. Effects of Dream 76
5. Mind Is like the Fountain Pen 77
 
CHAPTER X
 
 
VEDANTA IN HUMOUR
 
1. Dog in Stone 78
2. Sugar Cane Story 78
3. Atma Is Already There 79
4. Moorkhanandas 79
5. Sleepwalkers 80
6. The Tenth Was Missing 80
7. properties of the Five Elements 81
8. Vedantic Bomb 81
9. Vedantic Gazette, Good News! 82
10. Vedantic Passport 83
11. Vedantic Suzerainty 83
12. Atma Bahadurs 84
13. U.N.O. 85
14. Solve this Riddle, Please 85
15. Shortage of Barbers 86
 
CHAPTER XI
 
 
VEDANTIC MEDICINES
 
1. Vedantic Beverage 87
2. Vedantic Compressed Table 87
3. Vedantic Vitamin 88
4. Vedantic TONIC 89
 
CHAPTER XII
 
 
LESSONS FROM SCIENTIFIC INVENTIONS
 
1. Television 90
2. Dicta-Hell-Tele 90
3. The Biggest Radio 91
4. Remove the Dirt in the Mind-Radio 91
 
CHAPTER XIII
 
 
HUMOROUS PIECES
 
1. Ear-complains to the Lord 93
2. To Lord Krishna 93
3. How to Become a Famous Sadhu 94
4. Tamarind Brain 94
5. Mixed Action 95
6. Ant. Like the Atom Bomb 95
7. Elections and Voting 96
8. Twins and Triplets 96
9. Glory to Newspaper Boys 97
10. 'Procreate Less' Campaign 97
11. Husband and Wife 98
12. Three-Inches Intellect 98
 
CHAPTER XIV
 
 
SIVA'S NATIVE PLACE
 
1. Goodbye, Vain World 100
2. Song of Vibhti Yoga 100
3. My Native Place 101
4. The Cow Tree 101
5. Intoximeter and mayameter 102
6. Song of Honey 103
7. Digambara Song 103
8. Ram Kirtan 103
9. That Divine Whisky 104
10. Nature Curist is Intolerant 104
11. Nature Curist Vrittis 105
12 Allopathic Monsters 105
13. Naturopath's Poor Prarabdha 106
14. The Family of Egoism 106
15. The Best 106
16. Lecture By Milk 107
17. Son of Asanas 108
18. Incompatibles 111
 
SECTION II
 
 
PHILOSOPHY IN HUMOUR
 
1. To Lord Krishna 112
2. Maya 112
3. Daya Krishna and Danveer Ram 113
4. "Tor" Ka "Dur" 116
5. Story of Ade-Vada 116
6. Spiritual Smoking 119
7. Story of Dosai Sangam122  
8. Philosophy of Bread 124
9. Pseudo-Vedantin 126
10. Impotent Vedantin 127
11. Lip Vedantin 129
12. Real Vedantin 130
13. Divine Injection S.B. 40 131
14. Spiritual Lumbago 131
15. The Knowledge of the Lad 133
16. Best Cement 134
17. Fountain Pen 134
18. Knowledge of a Child 135
19. Boy Becomes a Girl 136
20. Moustache Lady 137
21. Test-tube Baby 138
22 Spiritual Shaving 138
23 Chandrabhaga and Monkey 142
24. A Complaint to Brahma 145
25. The Story of a Laddu 145
26. The Secret of "Bada" 146
27. This Is Maya 146
28. Philosophy of Shirt and Hat 148
29. Equal Vision 149
30. Gadapparai or Durmat Nyaya 150
31. Brahma-Jnana Research Pharmacy 150
32. Tat Tvam Asi 151
33. Recipe (Take Thou) 151
34. Philosophy of Proverbs 152
35. The Maha Kumbha Mela 159
36. Wake Up O! Man 168

 

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