Whether we know it or not, we have only one goal in life: to be happy. We may pursue other goals, but if we analyze we will see that, ultimately, those goals are also attempts to find happiness. Subconsciously, our mind is constantly calculating whether or not our various actions will add to our happiness or detract from it.
Just pick six actions you did within the past 24 hours. Let's say: 1) showered and brushed your teeth; 2) did 20 minutes of meditation, 3) ate breakfast, 4) hugged a loved one, 5) went to work, and 6) spent an hour volunteering with a charitable organization. While the direct, intended benefit of each of these actions varies, the primary, indirect, intended benefit of all of them is happiness. You can say you brush your teeth because you want clean teeth and sweet-smelling breath, but why do we want those things? Very simple: Cavities are painful and detract from our happiness. Likewise, foul-smelling breath is embarrassing and, knowing we have it makes us self-conscious and detracts from our peace of mind.
Similarly, adhering to a meditation practice may or may not bring happiness in that moment, but people who meditate believe that, ultimately, it makes them happier and more peaceful-even if the practice itself at times feels tedious. Breakfast makes all of us happy. But let's say we skip breakfast. Then somewhere we have calculated that losing weight will bring us more happiness than pancakes. As a supermodel once controversially said, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."
We may go to work for money and to con-tribute to society, but why do we want those things? We know that without money we will suffer. Moreover, many people feel unfulfilled if they are not actively contributing to society. We embrace our loved ones because maintaining those relationships by giving and receiving affection makes us feel whole and blissful. We even volunteer because we believe it will bring us happiness-the positive feelings that helping others generates inside of us.
I mentioned this point to a devotee once, and he said he didn't agree. He knew many people who volunteer only out of social pressure. But I pointed out that even that motivation is generated from the desire to attain happiness. We want to avoid the criticism of our peers. Our mind has calculated that failing to align with our peers' values will subtract from our happiness more than driving to the soup kitchen and, perhaps, missing the cricket match or basketball game. Ultimately, everything we do, we do for happiness.
Amma has her own unique way of expressing this. She says, "Our lives are meant to be born in love, to live in love and to eventually end in love." What is love? Love is happiness. They are synonyms. The feeling of love and the feeling of happiness are one and the same: bliss, peace, joy. As we say in Sanskrit, ānanda. But Amma's quote doesn't end there. She says, "Our lives are meant to be born in love, to live in love and to eventually end in love. But, tragically, even though most of us spend our lives in search of love, the majority of us die without ever finding it." Amma is saying that, even though all of our lives are aimed at experiencing love and happiness, we are failing miserably. Therefore, if our subconscious mind is constantly calculating what will bring us the most happiness, obviously there is a fundamental flaw in its mathematics.
This flaw is pointed out in the Madhu Brāhmaņa of Brhadaranyaka Upaniṣad. In fact, here, we literally get to watch the evolution of a spiritual seeker's happiness formula. Having gained ātma-jñānam [self-knowledge], Yājñavalkya has decided to divide his household possessions between his two wives in order to take up the life of a wandering monk. Yājñavalkya already understands his true nature, but he wants to fully dedicate his life to imbibing that understanding-to having it saturate his thoughts, words and deeds. He wants to reap the mental peace, contentment and happiness that come when self-knowledge expands to pervade the subconscious.
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