Sita - The Silent Power of Suffering and Sacrifice

Article of the Month - Aug 2021

This article by Nitin Kumar

(Viewed 181687 times since Aug 2021)
- Sita - The First Single Mother in the World
- Did Rama Really Doubt Her Chastity?
- Who is Greater? Rama or Sita?

All versions of the Ramayana are unanimous in reiterating Sita Ji's fidelity and devotion towards Rama even in times of extreme adversity. For example, when Shri Rama is preparing to go to exile in the forest all alone, she addresses him thus: "O son of an illustrious monarch, a father, a mother, a brother, a son or a daughter-in-law, all enjoy the fruit of their karma individually and receive what is their due.

It is only the wife who actually shares the fortunes of her husband. When you depart this day for the dense forests which are difficult to penetrate, I shall walk ahead of you crushing under my feet, all the thorns that lie on your way." This is just one of the many expressions Sita used to convince Shri Rama to take her with him. She considered it her privilege to share in his misfortune and suffered the consequent trials and tribulations in equal measure throughout their sojourn in the forest. However, being exiled in the forests was the least of her troubles.

In fact, not even her kidnapping by Ravana could break Sita' immense will-power, constantly nourished as it was by the memory of her beloved Rama. Ravana too, fearing the accumulated merits of a chaste woman did not dare touch her; he nevertheless did try to make advances. What was Sita's reaction to his overtures? The great sage poet Valmiki has captured her wretched condition vividly, through a series of inspired metaphors. For example, on viewing Ravana: "She seemed like a flame wreathed in smoke; a great fame which had dimmed; a lotus pool stripped of its blossoms; like Rohini pursued by Ketu (a metaphor for the eclipsed moon); a traditional text obscured by a dubious interpretation; a faith that has been betrayed; an order that has been flouted; a hope which has been frustrated and an understanding that has grown feeble." Witnessing her appearance, Hanuman says: "For a woman the greatest decoration is her lord, and Sita, though incomparably beautiful, no longer shines in Rama's absence."

13" Devi Sita

Although her physical beauty undoubtedly dims on account of the enforced separation; she keeps her mind fixed upon Rama, and thus radiates with an inner beauty as a result of this steadfastness. "Though that blessed one was shorn of her own beauty, yet her own soul did not lose its transcendency, upheld as it was by the thought of Rama's glory and safeguarded by her own virtue." Truly she remained chaste in both thought and deed and the various recensions of the epic recall episodes where even the mighty Ravana had to bow before Sita's piety. Once for example, when the demon approached her, she placed a single strand of straw in between them and challenged him to cross the "proverbial last straw." Predictably he did not dare to do so. He knew that the chastity of a virtuous woman was like a fire that could reduce to ashes anyone who tried to violate her against her will.

All of Sita's miseries in the confinement of Ravana however, pale in comparison to the emotional trauma she was subjected to after Shri Rama's victory over Ravana. In a bitter irony, what was to be her moment of deliverance, turned out to be the beginning of another trial.

Standing before Rama, her eyes raised expectantly to his face, the innocent Sita wept, overwhelmed at the prospect of a joyful reunion with her Lord after his victory. The latter however remained formal and aloof and set out to articulate his heartfelt thoughts (hrdyaantargatam bhavam): "Today I have avenged the insult to my honor and fulfilled my promise. You stand unabashed before me, even though suspicion has arisen with regard to your character. Today you seem extremely disagreeable to me even as a light to one who is suffering from sore eyes. Therefore go wherever you like, O Janaka's daughter, the ten directions are open to you today. What man born in a noble family would take back with an eager mind a woman who has dwelt in another's house, simply because she has been kindly disposed towards him in the past? How can I accept you, who were touched by Ravana while being borne away by him and who regarded you with a lustful eye? There is no more attachment for you in my heart. You may therefore go wherever you like."

Lord Rama with Goddess Sita | Odisha Painting

Harsh words indeed, which pierced Sita's tender heart like arrows tipped with poison and shrinking within herself, the sensitive lady shed profuse tears, saying: "I was helpless when I came into the contact of Ravana and did not act of my own free will on that occasion. My adverse fate alone is to blame on that score. That which is under my control, viz., my heart, eternally does it abide in you." Addressing her brother-in law Lakshmana, she says: "Raise for me a pyre, which is the only antidote against this calamity. I no longer desire to survive, smitten as I am with false reproaches." Lakshmana looked at his brother, half-expecting him to put an end to this bewildering public spectacle. Scrutinizing his elder sibling's expression, Lakshmana realized, to his horror, that this was exactly what Rama expected.

Not one of the assembled warriors, who just moments before had proved their mettle in the battlefield, had the courage to dare open his mouth opposing the grave injustice being perpetrated. The obedient Lakshmana set out to prepare the pyre. As a mark of respect, Sita Ji circumambulated Rama, who, as the ancient texts put it - stood with his head bent low. As she approached the blazing fires, the world went into a crisis: the immortal gods and living beings, the cosmic elements, the four Vedas and Dharma, all cried out in horror. Then:

As if she were going home to her place on the lotus that rises up from the flooding waters, she jumped in; and as she entered, that fire was scorched by her burning faithfulness. The lotus here refers to Sita being an incarnation of the great goddess Lakshmi, who is typically associated with this auspicious flower.

Here, to highlight the extremely pure bearing of Sita, the poet has depicted the moment as being one of an excruciating, fiery torment. Fire is burnt by the heat Sita holds within herself; generated by a lifetime of chastity, self control, faithfulness, suffering and sacrifice, which are represented here not as abstract ethical virtues but rather as part of the substantial and dynamic reality that suffuses the inner being of a faultless woman like Sita. It was this same heat that had earlier terrified Ravana against coming near her.

Shri Rama with Devi Sita | Traditional Colors With 24K Gold | Teakwood Frame | Gold & Wood | Handmade

Her trial-by-fire is portrayed evocatively in the ancient texts and she not only emerges unsinged, but also manages to scorch the god of fire (Agni) himself, who, according to Kamban, screams out in pain and protest. Lifting Sita in his hands, Agni points out that the beads of perspiration formed on her body due to anger directed at her husband were not dried up by his flames while the flowers she wore in her hair still continued to bloom as freshly as ever. Sita's accumulated spiritual force of concentrated energy (tapas) proved too much for even the fire-god, who emerged saying: "I had to materialize because I could not bear the blazing fire of faithfulness in this woman."

He also asks Rama:

Didn't you hear
when the gods and sages
and all that moves and is still
in the three worlds
screamed, as they struck their eyes? Have you abandoned
and resorted to misery instead?

Will rain fall,
will the earth bear its burden without splitting in two,
will Dharma go the right way,
or can this universe survive
if she becomes enraged?
if she utters a curse,
even Brahma on his lotus will die.

Rama is overjoyed at the developments and the public display of his wife's unblemished character: "Sita undoubtedly needed this purificatory ordeal in the eyes of the people inasmuch as this blessed lady had lived for a long time in Ravana's confinement. The world would have murmured against me saying that my mind was so dominated by desire that I actually accepted the daughter of Janaka without proving her chastity. I too knew Sita to be undivided in her affection to me. Ravana couldn't violate her, protected as she was by her own moral power. In order, however, to convince the inhabitants of the three worlds, I ignored Sita even while she was entering the fire. She is as inseparable from me as sunlight from the sun."

Shri Ram Darbar | Traditional Colors with 24 Karat Gold | With Frame

That Sita herself volunteered for the agni-pariksha speaks for the high volume of understanding between the couple since she understood Rama's wish without him explicitly stating it. Her action was not a surrender to the unreasonable whims of a husband rather a supreme act of defiance that challenged the aspersions cast on her, by the means of which she highlighted the superficiality of his doubts, so that even the gods had to materialize and point out the apparent fallacy in the trial so unceremoniously cast on her. She emerges as a woman that even Agni - who has the power to reduce to ashes everything he touches - dare not touch or harm. She was the victim twice victimised.

Thus reconciled, the contended couple repaired back to Ayodhya and Rama continued to rule as an ideal monarch over his extensive rein.

More misfortune however was in store for Sita. No sooner had the couple settled down than rumors started in the capital questioning the propriety of having a queen who had spent a year in a villain's captivity, putting her chastity under doubt. Surprisingly for a clear-headed individual, Rama took these allegations to heart and asked his younger brother Lakshmana to banish Sita (this time alone), to the forests. Rama did this even though he was well aware that his wife was well advanced into the family way. Thus Lakshmana carried Sita the next morning to the forests. The unknowing, innocent lady cheerfully boarded the chariot. Little did she know what travails lay in store for her. Once they reached the wilderness, her brother-in-law informed her thus: " You have been forsaken by the king who is afraid of the ill-report circulating among his citizens. You are to be left near this hermitage by me."

Hearing these cruel words the crestfallen Sita fell swooning to the ground. However, it was not long before the valiant lady composed herself and addressed him thus: "This mortal frame of mine was indeed composed by the creator for bearing sorrow only. What sin was committed by me, that though being of good conduct, I should be forsaken by the king? I cannot give up my life since I carry within myself the seed which will carry forward the lineage of my lord. Do then as you are ordered O son of Sumitra (Lakshmana's mother), forsake me the miserable one, obey the orders of the king, but do tell him this on my behalf: If to preserve your good name among your people, I must be sacrificed, I am content to let it be so. As you serve your subjects, so I serve you."

लव कुश चरित्र: Luv Kush Charitra

Sita - The First Single Mother in the World

Thus abandoned, Sita gave birth to twin sons in the wilderness and brought them up all alone, without the protective presence of a father, hence becoming the first single parent in history. When these worthy sons entered their teens, tales of their valor spread far and wide, and it was not long before Rama realized that they were his own offspring. This knowledge prompted him to immediately call his beloved Sita and the two boys to his court. In front of the assembled subjects, tributary kings, ministers and merchants from all parts of his empire, he asked her to undertake the fire ordeal again for the benefit of these venerable gentlemen, who had missed the earlier one in Lanka.

Sita's reaction however was different from that earlier occasion. The emotional scar had obviously not healed. This time she did not ask her brother-in-law to prepare a funeral pyre for her. Nor did she circumambulate her husband in meek submission. Rather, with folded hands, she merely uttered the following words: "If I have remained true to Rama in mind, speech and action, may the Mother Earth embrace me in her bosom." No sooner had she spoken than the ground beneath her feet split wide open, and before anybody had the time to react, she entered the depths. A dejected and helpless Rama was engulfed in grief. Thus did end the exemplary life of Sita, with fate pursuing her to the bitter end.

In the televised version of the Ramayana, shown in serialized form on Indian television, the Earth Goddess is shown emerging from the ground seated on a bejeweled throne. Spreading out her arms she beckons Sita saying: "Come my child, this world is not worthy of you." Sita does as she is told, leaving behind her, the lamenting assembly. Sita's appeal to Mother Earth to reclaim her was not the helpless reaction of slighted woman. It was a spirited, self-effacing statement of protest, when things went beyond endurance.

21" Standing Lord Rama Darbar (Ram, Sita, Laxman & Hanuman) | Handmade | Madhuchista Vidhana (Lost-Wax) | Panchaloha Bronze from Swamimalai

Did Rama Really Doubt Her Chastity?

Rama's conduct vis-a-vis Sita leaves many questions unanswered. The most significant is of course whether he really doubted her fidelity. There is a strong logical basis supporting the conventional view:

1). Some time after he abandoned her, Rama decided to perform the horse sacrifice (ashvamedha yagya) which is the highest ritual a king can strive to. There was a technical snag however. Of the hundreds of ceremonies a Hindu has to perform, not one can be performed without a wife. Therefore many in Rama's retinue suggested that he remarry. A suggestion he firmly rejected: "In the heart of Rama there is place for only one woman and that one is Sita." He therefore had a golden image of his wife made and completed the sacrifice. Would anyone thus give his wife a position of such supreme respect if he doubted her chastity?

2). Before entering the fire, Sita circled Rama clockwise, in respectful homage. What was Rama's reaction during her circulation? Well, he kept his head down (adhomukham). Is this not a gesture of self-indictment and contradiction? The ostracized victim is boldly performing what she has set out to do, while her accuser stands with a hung head.

Conclusion: Who is Greater? Rama or Sita?

Sita sets a high standard as an ideal wife who stays unswerving in her loyalty and righteousness, no matter how unfavourable her husband's response. Her refusal to perform a second agnipraiksha and her consequent reversion to mother earth is not merely an act of self-annihilation. It is a momentous and dignified rejection. By this act does she emerge supremely triumphant. If the defining scale for quantifying greatness is the amount of suffering one has undergone, it is undoubtedly Sita who is the clear winner. It is her dignified tolerance and self-effacing silence, which may even be termed as weakness by many, that turns out to be her ultimate emotional strength, far valorous than any assertive aggression. Rightly therefore does her name always precede that of Rama (as in Sita-Ram or Jai Siya-Ram).

In the words of Swami Vivekananda, " There may have been several Ramas, perhaps, but only one Sita."

Key Takeaways
1. Sita is a revered figure in Hindu mythology and is the wife of Lord Rama.
2. She is known for her loyalty, devotion, and courage.
3. Sita is a symbol of the ideal wife and mother in Hindu culture and is celebrated for her selflessness and compassion.
4. Her abduction by the demon king Ravana and subsequent rescue by Lord Rama is a central story in the epic Ramayana.
5. Sita's character has been debated over time, with some viewing her as a symbol of patriarchal oppression and others as a symbol of empowerment and resilience.
6. Sita's portrayal in modern media has shifted to focus on her strength and agency.

References and Further Reading:

- Gandhi, Mahatma. The Collected Works (Vol. 20): New Delhi, 2000.

- Grimes, John. A Concise Dictionary of Indian Philosophy(Sanskrit - English): Varanasi, 2009.

- Hawley, John Stratton and Donna Marie Wulff: The Divine Consort (Radha and the Goddesses of India): Delhi, 1995.

- Kakar, Sudhir: The Essential Writings: New Delhi, 2002.

- Kinsley, David. The Goddesses' Mirror Visions of the Divine from East and West: Delhi, 1995. -

-Richman, Paula (ed). Questioning Ramayanas: New Delhi, 2003.

-Richman, Paula (ed). Many Ramayanas The Diversity of a Narrative Tradition in South Asia: New Delhi, 2001.

- Sastri, The Rt. Hon. V.S. Srinivasa Sastri. Lectures on the Ramayana: Madras, 1986.

- Srimad Valmiki-Ramayana (2 vols. With Sanskrit Text and English Translation): Gorakhpur, 2001.

- Vatsyayan, Sacchidanand. Jan Janak Janaki (Hindi): Delhi.

- Vivekananda, Swami. The Complete Works (Vols 3, 4 & 6): Kolkata, 2003.

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  • I always felt tears lining my eyes when i thought of Sita being asked to go through the funeral pyre. I always questioned, "why does a woman is always supposed to answer all the questions?" But your story telling has convinced me otherwise. Now I have understood that the sacrifices made by Sita were not meek submission because she was a woman but a challenge to accusers all around the world. She always challenged back when she saw wrong happening to her. She did not bow down to Ravana, she did not bow down to Ram. Though she heard many hurtful claims to her propriety, she was removed from her home and separated from her love and family, she never gave up, She must have felt depression, when Ravana and his Rakshasa used to visit her, to persuade her to choose him but she still was holding strongly to her love and belief. She was not waiting to be avenged. No, she was there because she wanted to go out with pride. She wanted to show the world that she and Ram were one and if one in danger other one will always follow to help. And Rama came, only what followed afterwards was what maybe made Sita what she is to me--A very strong and brave woman. Such power of character and such strong personality that she took every blow and came up graceful. And in the end when she went into earth as her answer to all the questions raised. I think she did not really wanted to live that way. She did not want to live in an Ashram while her sons were being raised in Ayodhya. She did not want to answer any other questions to raised against her character and chastity. So, she gave one final answer and made an exit from earth that shook it to it's core. Literally.
    Samriddhi Khandelwal December 06, 2021
  • My God!! So beautifully written. Some years back I was the biggest opponent of Sri Rama. Reading C. Rajagopalachari’s Ramayana, just like him, I also closed my eyes to Uttara Kanda. Being a Hindu conferred that unique privilege that is available only in Indic thought - to have a contrary opinion even on those worshipped as God. But gradually, I grew to understand what Sri Rama stood for. In the process understood how Sita is an absolute epitome sheer spiritual strength, independent thoughts and fearlessness. Thank you for bringing her unique strength displayed by her last prayer to Mother Earth to take her back into her bosom - today’s westernized thoughts process makes these ideals hard to understand. This is a much needed article to explain that aspect. I do wish you had dwelt a little more on how Sri Rama spends his days in complete agony of separation from Sita. Much like his grandfather Aja who pines for his wife Indumathi after her death, He pines for her. As soon as his sons are old enough, He enters Sarayu to go back to His Sita - ending the physical manifestation which, even at best, just a feeble reflection of strength of His unmanifest nature.
    Harini Swaminathan September 06, 2021
  • SitaMata is divine and remains so. Glory to SitaMata
    Prakash Hurry June 25, 2021
  • Thanks for this marvelous piece. I really enjoyed reading this and have to state 1 thing - that you really are an incredible writer. I really don't usually bookmark origin - that the last time I did so was with And that I do wish to see more of your articles in my bookmarks. Thanks for the work, have a fantastic day.
    Hart Natasha May 19, 2020
  • Dear Mr Kumar, thank you for the well-written article. As a lover of India and Indian culture, I nevertheless feel compelled to write the following answer: Reflecting on the enormous number of raped women not only in India but in every country of the world including my own, Germany, and after having read completely the Valmiki-Ramayana and the Ramcaritmanas by Tulsidas and watched both the whole 1988 and 2008 versions of the Ramayan TV Series, I ask myself whether there has ever been any male in the world who would have been worth the sacrifice of Sita. It would certainly not be Rama who has no respect for his wife at all and is completely outside the range of males electable for a female who has any self-respect. Otherwise Rama would not doubt the "honour" of a woman who would have had no chance against Ravana in case he would really have raped her. How can a woman be the culprit when a man rapes her? How can it be HER "honour" which is lost when in reality HE is the one who behaves like a person who has no honour at all?! This blaming of the victim that is inherent in all Sita-Ram stories is a shame, and Rama should have been clever enough to understand this and refrain from insulting his wife like that. If my husband would do anything like that to me, I would leave him instantly. It also does not help women in the least to read that the power of a woman's chastity may be so strong that even a god cannot resist it. Have you ever heard of a real woman raped in reality who was able to use that power? It is a fairytale not applicable to everyday life, and people who believe in the Sita story might even believe earnestly that the woman who does not overwhelm her rapist with the power of her chastity is guilty of her rape herself. You seem to be of the opinion that Rama in reality does fully believe in Sitas ongoing chastity, and only has to convince "the people" about that by a fire ordeal. If he does believe her he should not insult her, and if he is so dependant on what "the people" say then he just has no self-confidence but is a coward who is afraid of people who ask awkward questons. Fully mature individuals are not afraid of being criticised, but Rama is so afraid of this that he rather sends his beloved wife away than standing some criticism from outside. When people rumour about Sita even after the fire ordeal, why does Rama not stand in front of his people and tell them that he fully believes in his wife and that the people can either have him as their king together with Sita or not at all? For me, he is a coward whom I in the place of Sita would have left as soon as possible and certainly before getting pregnant! She did just that in the end, she finally left him, but MUCH too late! And she also did not leave him by claiming her place in the world but by giving the world over to males like him who have since then governed our earth without granting the females their part of the cake. As long as we women do not openly criticise such male misbehaviour as Sita experienced from Rama and as long as we do not take our consequences, nothing will change in patriarchal society. Why is everybody expecting women to be ideal wives, but nobody expects any male to be an ideal husband? When I came to India first as a young girl in 1978, I was absolutely impressed by the strength and power of the women I met. But it was a strength that they had gained IN SPITE of their male relatives, in spite of their husbands and not because of any support they might have got from them. Only in rare instances did I get the impression that female strength originated clearly from the empowerment of the women by their male family members. In your conclusion, you praise Sitas "dignified tolerance" and lack of aggression - but did these qualities help her in the least? No, they didn't, because these qualities are those that a MALE wishes to experience in a female, they are those qualities that make it easy for MALES to get along with their women. What we need everywhere in the world are women who question all those patriarchal expectations, who do NOT circle husbands who question their honour and do NOT show any tolerance, dignified or not, towards male impertinence. The article is nice and romantic, but it idealises female submission under a husband who is so far from being an ideal partner to a free and strong woman that I fail to understand how she can stand to stay with him. Sita as well as all my Indian female friends do have this female potential, but idealising submission is no option for females in our world today. It is detrimental for them and only helps the males. Especially as long as males do not give back anything. You Indian males have so strong women in your myths and stories, but please begin to understand that women are not born in order to play the roles of consenting slaves to the males. A woman is born as a free living being with equal rights and equal potentialities for a successful and happy life. Warm regards from Germany Vimukti
    Vimukti May 18, 2020
  • Most excellent, as usual. ... Siya Ram, Siya Ram.
    Brian / Cat ji May 16, 2020
  • It'll be a wonder if this article could've been written any more beautifully & articulately. One is reminded India has historically held so much divinity. I used to subscribe to a forum long ago -- DivineIndia. Sacchi -- MannDivineIndia. Testimonial of jagruti lies not only with the writer, but also within commenters who responded with so much heart & can relate so emphatically. Sabon ke mann ka deep hamesha jalta rahe. Tabhi Mandir mein bhi jaan aati hai. Jab aatma itni sundar hai, to socho vatavaran kitna sundar ban jayega. Dharm ko hamesha sache mann, aatma aur nirahankar se nibhana chahiye. This is exactly what Sita Mata did. Praja ke hit mein Ram bhagwan ne ekdam sahi nirnay liya. Aur Dharti ma ko Ma Sita ko apne paas bulana bhi sahi tha. Rahi Ram Sita ke saath ki baat -- agar woh sach mein Ma Lakshmi aur Vishnu bhagwan ke avtar hain, to alag hone ka sawal hi nahin uthta. Wishing everyone enlightenment not just by story, but by application, heart, mind, and daily living. Best Wishes. -Ritika
    Ritika Sinha May 16, 2020
  • A powerful short version, beautifully done. Thanks
    Mukti May 15, 2020
  • Dear Noor, Look not with 21st century eyes at Sita. You are selectively believing some things and rejecting other things according to your conditioning and conveniencem and this is what MF Hussain also did... This great epic happened in a yuga when a completely different mindset and a completely different spiritual culture was prevailing and it's sometimes hard for us Kali Yugis to understand all this... Just like the elements protected Sita when she jumped in the fire, the same heat protected her when Ravana tried to approach her. Also, Ravana was a Shiv bhakt, and that also helped in controlling him...
    Om July 12, 2010
  • a very useful and clarifying source. Sita was indeed mahaan. I believe people still feel aggrieved about her treatment, even the land is a hotbed of injustice today, just look at the curse that is upon Ayodhya, surely this is Sita's curse. The poorer Shri Rama is considered as a husband, the greater the dutiful king, just look at what the Queen of England has had to sacriface for her sense of duty.
    ravi August 19, 2009