Books on parenting are a dime a dozen, but this book is worth its weight in gold! As a mom, grandma, and child therapist, I agree with the authors that it is important to stop stressing and start enjoying your children. Whether you are a mom or a dad, when you read this book you will feel like you have found wise counsellors and advocates who are willing to sit down with you and work through the distressing everyday issues that nearly all families must deal with. In this book, though, the authors often ask you to do more than just sit down with them; you will be asked to pick up a pen and paper, think about your current strengths and strategies, and then decide how you may need to change some of them. This is a book you can read cover-to-cover at one sitting or conquer a chapter a week. You may also choose to dive sporadically into sections as issues arise. This book, as well as the authors' Web site, will offer you the tools and resources you need at that very moment to deal with your struggles. Wherever you start, you will find that you can refer to this book again and again as you and your children grow.
The Seven Principles of the Mommy Guilt-Free Philosophy make sense psychologically and developmentally for moms and their families and have potential for application beyond parenting. It was refreshing and encouraging to see the principles of the Mommy Guilt-Free Philosophy ap- plied to the relationship between spouses and, by extension, I expect they could be fruitfully applied to relationships with co-workers as well. The authors introduce each of the principles clearly, and then illustrate them again and again by weaving them through issues as diverse as the super- market tantrum, choosing a school for your child, setting priorities, and guilt-free yelling. Throughout the book, I found the issues had the ring of truth. They sounded like reports from real life and, in fact, they were drawn from the lives of more than 1,300 families, including the authors' own. Especially useful was the way the authors paired scenarios of situations gone amok with a second, more informed, guilt-freeing strategy. So true-to-life were the authors' chosen scenarios that I recognized some of Foreword.
them from my own mommy days-when I held a young child perched on my left hip or disentangled one hanging from my legs-and my kids will tell you that I did better in the kitchen than in the cleaning-up department.
A great strength of this book is that the authors give you language actual words to say to a child or spouse. Many times, as parents, we actually do understand the concepts, we just don't know how to communicate these concepts to a 2-year-old, or a 5-year-old, or 12-year-old (or in the case of a spouse, to a 27- or 39-year-old!). My recommendation is that when you find an issue that speaks to you right now, you read the recommendations, maybe even write down some of the responses on a 3-by-5. inch card, and tape it to your fridge. It takes practice to get it right, to claim those words as yours and speak them to your family with the love and authority you intend.
Another strength of this book is that the examples, exercises, and charts are presented across the childhood years so you can hone in on the expectations for children the age of your own, and you can see what the expectations and possibilities are for children in the next age/stage. It is clear that the authors understand that kids grow and change, and the more subtle message is that parents must grow and change as well. The discussion of discipline in the chapter "Yippee! Guilt-Free Yelling" is a good example of the need to keep both child and parent development in mind. The authors are right that there is no better way to keep good behaviour going than to offer contingent, positive reinforcement, no better way to stop bad behaviour than swift, clear negative reinforcement; while to en courage a shift or to encourage your child to try a new behaviour, a reward/ bribe can be very effective (note their cautions about bribes how true!). To make this system of behaviour modification work best, you need to include your kids as they grow in decisions about what rewards and punishments are age appropriate. At one memorable point in our daughter's life, I looked over the jumble of stuff that was in her room and offered her a quarter to clean it all up. She too, looked over the room and finally said.
"No. You just better keep the money, Mom, and clean it yourself!" 16 1 had had this book on the shelf, I could have consulted it and learned how to update my offer on what it would take to get the room clean! The best reward for a child is often time spent with a parent-better than money any day. After my young grandson had done a really fine job of picking up.
I asked, "So what would you like as a reward?" He looked up with a sparkle in his eye and said, "Let's go in the kitchen and crack eggs!" And so we did.
Send as free online greeting card
Email a Friend
Statutory Information
Visual Search
Manage Wishlist